Emotional hijacking – emotional vs thinking brain

My mobile phone was stolen in London, Charing Cross on Saturday, which brain do you think activated first?

Our brain runs on two systems: the fast, emotional brain that reacts instantly, and the slower, thinking brain that analyses and reasons. Emotional hijacking happens when the emotional brain takes over before the thinking brain can step in, pushing us into impulsive reactions that don’t always match the situation.

Understanding this tug‑of‑war helps us pause, regain control, and respond with clarity instead of instinct.
In this episode we go into what happens in emotionally motivated situations and our reactions.

This article and episode discusses emotional hijacking which is the phenomenon where our emotional (‘feeling’) brain overrides our rational (‘thinking’) brain during stressful or threatening situations.

I provide the example of my phone being stolen in London to illustrate how the initial emotional response (instinct to chase the thief) was quickly replaced by rational actions (reassuring my child).

The tug-of-war between logic and impulse: Understanding emotional hijacking

We have all been in a situation where a sudden event catches us completely off guard, triggering an immediate, intense rush of emotion. Whether it is a moment of intense road rage or the sudden shock of a personal violation, these instances pit two powerful forces within us against each other: the thinking brain and the feeling brain.

Understanding how these systems interact isn’t just an academic exercise, it is a vital tool for navigating the unexpected stresses of everyday life.

The anatomy of a hijack: Thinking vs. feeling

While we speak of the ‘thinking’ and ‘feeling’ brains as two distinct entities, they are actually parts of a single, highly integrated system. However, they handle information very differently.

The thinking brain (The prefrontal cortex)

This is the rational side of your mind. Located at the front of the brain, the prefrontal cortex is responsible for high-level cognitive functions, including:

• Logic and reasoning
• Long-term planning
• Deliberate decision-making
• Calm analysis and problem-solving

The feeling brain (The limbic system)

This is the emotional, instinctual centre of the brain, driven heavily by the amygdala. It operates on survival instincts, memory, and immediate impulses. When you face a perceived threat, this part of the brain reacts instantly, triggering the primitive fight, flight, or freeze response.

What is an “Amygdala Hijack”?

During intense or highly emotive situations, the feeling brain takes absolute priority. Built for survival, it temporarily pulls the thinking brain offline to ensure a rapid reaction. When this happens, it is known as an emotional or amygdala hijack, an intense, immediate response that is often disproportionate to the actual modern threat.

The Fight, Flight, or Freeze response:

• Fight: Aggression, defensiveness, or shouting (common in road rage).
• Flight: Escaping, avoiding the situation, or shutting down emotionally.
• Freeze: Becoming physically or mentally paralyzed, unable to react logically.

Real-world application: A Lesson from Charing Cross station

It is easy to discuss emotional regulation in a calm room, but putting it into practice during a crisis is another story entirely.

Recently, while enjoying a trip to London with my daughter ahead of a highly anticipated sleepover under the blue whale at the Natural History Museum, we stopped at the McDonald’s near Charing Cross train station. In a matter of seconds, an opportunistic thief used the distraction of placing a piece of paper on the table in front of me and getting me to read the text. I said in a firm voice ‘I do not have anything for you’, and then he picked up the paper along with my phone.

The one time I put my phone on the table next to my food and this happens.

He knew I would be focusing on my daughter which made me into the perfect target, in his eyes. However instantly, my feeling brain took over. The impulse was to run, chase him down, and confront him. My ego was bruised, and my protective instincts were on high alert. When I got to the entrance of the store, I felt my phone disconnect from my watch, then the thinking brain too over.

I looked at the facts:

1. My daughter was distressed and could not be left alone.
2. The thief was already gone, and chasing a criminal into the alleyways of London carries unpredictable, dangerous risks even if you have worked in the legal sector for 25+ years and are a black belt/instructor level in Kung Fu.
3. The physical object, a phone, was simply not worth potentially getting hurt over. I use my phone as a doorway to apps, everything else was backed up, I didn’t lose any information. The only thing I lost was a picture I took of my daughter a few seconds before the thief arrived (hence why my phone was on the table).

By letting logic take the wheel, I was able to think clearly, grab my works phone from my bag and immediately coordinate with my husband, to remotely wipe the device. I then restricted the SIM card with the service provider, effectively locking down all personal data within minutes. I do not use the wallets so it was unlikely that my finances would be affected.

The main message in scenarios of emotional hijacks, is to try and stay calm, use strategies to regain control, and remember that safety is more important than possessions. Also, if you are in a similar situation, don’t get mad or scared GET EVERY DETAIL so you can give a polished statement to the police afterwards. With technology at our fingertips you can dictate a statement within seconds (providing you have another phone) and ensure you do capture every detail because it is not long before you begin to forget. Typically, the small details are the ones that matter.

Strategies to reclaim control

If you find yourself in a high-stress situation, you can bridge the gap between your emotional reactions and thoughtful responses using these steps:

• The six-second rule: The initial, intense chemical surge in the brain during a hijack lasts about six seconds. If you can force yourself to pause and breathe deeply during this narrow window, you give your rational prefrontal cortex the time it needs to regain control.
• Identify your triggers: Building emotional intelligence involves recognizing the specific situations—whether online arguments or real-life confrontations—that push you toward an emotional response.
• Focus on facts over feelings: Ask yourself: ‘Is my reaction proportional to the threat?’ Shift your internal dialogue from panic to problem-solving.
• Choose the outcome: You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control your response. After securing my data, I chose not to let the incident ruin our weekend. My daughter and I went on to the museum and had a fantastic, unforgettable evening.

So what happened to my phone? Well when I got back from the museum, I gave my initial statement to the police. They then got back to me, we discussed the particulars and then within 3 weeks they had detained the thief, who then went on remand, and a few weeks later he was convicted and in prison serving a sentence. My phone was not discovered in the collection of phones that were retrieved from the thief’s residence, I can only assume that locking the phone remotely and wiping it was enough to make him throw it in a nearby bin or something along those lines, but at least my data was not compromised.

Well done to the police, for a speedy arrest.